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she's the one ...

that cuts like a diamond

Lucy Diamond

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June 22nd, 2008

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I'm going to blow up Australia.

July 29th, 2006

Topic #32; Letter to ...

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(lucy/scud) drinking
Australia,

I really don’t like your attitude. You should know that if things continue as they have been in that wacked out place you guys call down under I might be forced to get out my trusty ray gun. You think I’m kidding. Usually I only start threatening you freaks if I’m having trouble in my personal life. I’m not, things are actually going really great with Amy.

However, the press is not being so nice to me. You’d think that after months and months of nothing from me they’d realize that I’ve left the biz. But no, some chick looks like me and gets pulled into custody and suddenly they are freaking out about my where-abouts and all that crap. So watch out Australia, my temper has no improved and I may no be an active master criminal anymore but it’s like riding a bike. And I am perfectly capable of making a huge statement. I’m into the grand gestures. I like grand gestures. Do you think destroying a whole country is a huge enough gesture?

Ok So I’m not going to do it. Amy would kill me and pout and not in that incredible sexy way she’s got either. So you’re safe. But that doesn’t mean I like your attitude. I hate it, it sucks. With the shrimp on the Barbie and all that crap. Fosters, Australian for beer. WHAT IS THAT. God. Such freaks.

Kthnx,
Lucy Diamond

Muse: Lucy Diamond
Fandom: Debs
Word Count: 240

July 16th, 2006

This was not happening, Lucy had been going about a regular day at her gondola when her cell phone buzzed and the alert from Scud grabbed her attention. DC cops apprehend Lucy Diamond and Harry Osborn look alikes in a traffic stop gone wrong.

“What the fuck!” She yelled and then looked sheepishly at the older couple she’d been pushing around and smiled politely. She’d finished off their ride and then closed up shop and headed home.

Once she got there she started up her computer and found the e-mail Scud had sent her with a link to the article. Oh. No. They. Didn’t. A Naval Academy Officer had been mistaken for her? Not only that but they’d thought she was dating a billionaire? And OMFG she was suddenly being linked to that huge Yacht disappearance scandal? Lucy was lucky Amy wasn’t home because she probably would have convinced her girlfriend that she needed to do something rash and Lucy was pretty damn good at convincing Amy to do rash things. Nothing Criminal or anything, cause ya know she was a good guy now. Or at least she wasn’t a bad guy.

So what did Lucy do? Well she contemplated taking the death ray out of storage because threatening Australia always had a calming affect but then she decided against it. Instead she eyed the end of that stupid article. They wanted a response? They were so going to get one.

She set up her camera and turned up her stereo and sat in front of one of Amy’s canvases. She had experience not getting caught. No background noise to distinguish where she was and not backdrops for the same reason.

Hitting the record button she smiled into the camera.

“Hi. This is Lucy Diamond, you know the actual Lucy Diamond. And I’m so sick and tired of this bull … crap that I’ve decided to clear a few things up. Agent Booth, pay attention okay?”

Lucy sighed and crossed her hands over her chest, “First of all. Police Officals of the world? If you ever see me with a guy who is not my asexual best friend Scud? It’s not me. I don’t date boys, I don’t like boys in that way and I never will. Get over it. Secondly, what the hell is with all you people trying to link me to a missing Yacht? First of all I’ve never met this Harry Osborn guy and secondly I would never try to get rid of a Yacht full of people. I’ve never killed anyone in my life. And before you roll your stupid little eyes. That whole no one whose ever faced Lucy Diamond has lived to tell the tale thing? So wrong. I never met any of those guys, it was like frost bite and ebola and other completely unrelated things. I don’t kill people. Get things straight. GOD!”

She sighed, “I’d like to give my apologies to this Ali Holloway who was mistaken for me. I’m sure those idiot cops painted a real nice picture of me, but honey I’m not a bad guy. And seriously, Diamonds go with anything. You’ll see.”

She paused the tape and sighed, tapping her foot impatiently against the hard wood floor of the apartment and then sighed again. She jerked her hand up and hit record again; “Oh right. I forgot; I gave up my life of crime, just ask my contacts. Lucy Diamond is not in hiding well ok I am but not like last time. This time its just because I’m not going to jail; like it’s my fault the federal government can’t get the facts straight. I’m a good guy now. No badness. I promise.”

She smiled and stopped the tape. Within minutes she’d sent a copy to every news agency in 30 countries and CC’d the thing to her favorite FBI Agent Seeley Booth. She new it would only be a matter of time before it started airing in all 30 countries, subtitles in some she was sure but all over anyway.

She was really going to have to make it up to the girl who looked like her. She just had to figure out how.

“Wait till Amy hears about this,” she sighed and flopped back on her bed.

Stupid cops.

July 6th, 2006

You know, I’ve thought about it before. In my line of work I was women parading around in less than nothing and batting their eyelashes at the powerful men just to get something they wanted. It occurred to me a long time ago that if I wasn’t a lesbian I probably wouldn’t have to have worked so hard to get where I was. If I’d been into guys maybe I’d have used my sex appeal to get ahead. Well, ok, I guess I probably did a little but I didn’t enjoy it.

I get asked the definitive lesbian questions all the time. Have you ever had sex with a man? The kind of sex two women have really isn’t sex is it? How do you know if you’ve never tried?

Here’s the thing, No I’ve never had sex with a man before – I knew I was a lesbian from a young age and while I can appreciate the attractiveness of the male species men just don’t do it for me. Give me a woman, with soft curves, delicate skin and the softest lips and I’ll be happy. Or that would have worked before I met Amy now she’s pretty much the only woman in the world I want. The only person.

And I can assure you our sex life is not boring. I doubt Amy wants me to go into detail but my appetite for her is insatiable. She’ll be sitting in the living room sketching in her book and I’ll have to keep myself from ripping it away from her.

I’ve had plenty of sex in my life but with Amy it’s just fulfilling; it’s sunsets over the horizon that send a glow of light through our room. Tasting every inch of her flesh gets me going; stroking her with feather light touches just to see how she reacts is so erotic.

Say what you want about lesbian sex, but don’t knock it girls; at least not until you’ve tried it. I mean I don’t talk shit about heterosexual sex; I’m sure it’s just great if that’s what you’re into. I’m just not – I’m into Amy.

Muse: Lucy Diamond
Fandom: Debs
Word Count: 357

June 28th, 2006

Congratulations! You have just won a major award. Write your acceptance speech.

I actually got an award once. Probably not the kind most of you would be happy getting. I can't remember the technical name they gave it but it was like Best Crime Boss Ever or something like that. We had this little dinner celebrating all the good crime from that year; there were little door prizes and they gave out these little solid gold awards. Some of them were for kidnappings and espionage, some were for bank heists and of course I cleaned up on the Diamond Heists, naturally.

So I get up and have to give this speech. I donned my bullet proof vest over my stylish pant suit; you know just in case. It would have been a perfect opportunity for someone to get rid of me and I had to be prepared.

"Wow, this is such a shock. Ok not really. We all know that I'm the best and I'm just glad most of you have decided to agree with me. Don’t look at me like that Louie, you know I control the death ray and I could have you sent to Australia in a moments notice. Oh right, where was I. I'd just like to thank all of you for the support you gave my father, god rest his soul, and the confidence some of you had in me when I decided to take over the Diamond family business. Mostly I'd like to thank my best friend and partner in crime Scud. Where is he? Hi, Scud. This is for you buddy."

I thought it was pretty cool, Amy let me bring the pretty little gun shaped statue to our Spanish apartment. It's on the mantle and everything. Ahh, good times.

Muse: Lucy Diamond
Fandom: D.e.b.s.
Word Count: 285

June 12th, 2006

Topic #25; Pet Peeve

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People who think they know you because they read a file. Now I don’t know exactly what’s in that file about me but I do know that it says that I’ve killed some people. Maybe that’s really what annoys me. The fact that because I like to steal diamonds and various other valuable objects that automatically it’s assumed that I have the capacity to kill. Alright, we all have the capacity to kill, can’t really get around that now can we but I didn’t kill those guys and it says right there on my file – I’m sure – that I have. What is it? No one whose come face to face with Lucy Diamond has lived to tell about it? Please. I’m sure that’s been amended since Amy lived to tell about it and lived to leave the D.e.b.s. and everything but come on.

Being on the most wanted list? That kind of sucks too. I mean I gave up my life of crime, I’m living like an honest woman and the money I do have is an inheritance – which alright was probably procured by illegal means but it’s not like I did all that. I’m one of the good guys now. Ok. I’m not a good guy but I’m not a bad guy and the fact that people think they know me because of some file?

It makes me wonder if I shouldn’t just forget about Australia and deal with the attitude back home.

Oh right. Australia’s attitude? That bugs me. ‘Mate? What is that anyway?

Muse: Lucy Diamond
Fandom: D.e.b.s.
Word Count: 256

June 4th, 2006

Consequences? Please. You don’t become the youngest master criminal on every most wanted list in the world by worrying about consequences. If I bothered to care how my actions affected everyone else I’d be living in a room with no doors or windows and a little bit of padding on the walls because I’d be insane. Granted my life of crime is more or less over; more really because the only consequence I’m not going to allow to result from my actions is loosing Amy. So I guess these days I do worry about them and if I didn’t I’d probably go steal this insane diamond necklace and make Amy wear it and only it while I drew her badly, since she’s the artist in this relationship.

I never had to worry about stuff like this before Amy. I guess that’s what I get for falling in love with someone with set ideas about right and wrong. This isn’t me complaining by the way, meeting Amy may have caused me to actually care about the consequences of my actions and effectively ended my life of crime but I wouldn’t give up the life I do have for anything. Because while I still walk past museums and diamond exchanges and case the buildings without really thinking, giving up that life isn’t such a huge deal.

I might actually buy a gondola and take people around the canal for a few bucks. Not a bad way to make a living, not that I actually have to make a living since even without my life of crime I’ve got more money than the president of a few countries put together.

Still, I rarely worry about consequences. It’s what’s so great about Barcelona; the only real temptation I deal with is keeping Amy in bed, 24/7.

Muse: Lucy Diamond
Fandom: D.e.b.s.
Word Count: 302

June 2nd, 2006

Actions cause pain but so do words.

Before my father died he told me I’d never be cut out for his life, I’d never be able to run the business and never be able to surpass his greatness. He was the greatest of the Diamond Crime Syndicates leaders since my great great grandfather Louis Diamond. I was 14 and living in England with 300 other girls from rich family’s I was raised by nanny’s and teachers up until he died. My uncle Francis wanted to take over the business after my father died, he bought into the idea that because I was a woman I couldn’t handle it. I’m sure it also had to do with the fact that I couldn’t even drive yet but I didn’t care about crap like that. I wanted to prove that bastard wrong. He put my mother into an early grave and I wasn’t about to let his notions that even though I had his blood I wasn’t good enough to run his business.

I showed him. I did, I became the most infamous crime lord this side of the Atlantic; people feared me. My name literally struck terror in the hearts of men who’d actually killed people. Sure everyone thought I was just some cold blooded lesbian who would crush a man and his testicles with her bare hands if I felt the need, but I wasn’t all that bad. I never killed anyone, all those agents that were suppose to have fought me and never lived to tell the tale? I never even met them, Ebola and frostbite; and they say nature isn’t a woman scorned.

The worst thing I ever did was hold Australia hostage because I was nursing a broken heart. I’m sure that makes me ruthless and crazy to most people but hey what do I care what most people think?

When Amy left me that day to go back to the D.e.b.s. I could hear my father’s voice in my head. He was calling me a simpering little girl would was about to let everything she’d done go to hell because of love. Something he never even believed in, something I don’t think I honestly believed in until I met Amy. There was a moment of clarity when I realized how much my fathers words had hurt me, how much his ignorance I’d let rule my life for so long. I’d given my pathetic excuse for a father, one who’d gotten himself shot, torture me slowly through the years. Just the memory of him and the way he talked to me had made me into this person I barely recognized anymore.

His actions or lack there of hurt me while he was alive but once he was gone I let those words cause me more pain than I ever realized.

Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me? Bullshit.

Muse: Lucy Diamond
Fandom: D.e.b.s.
Word Count: 486

Topic #22; Religion

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Technically speaking I’m Catholic, I even went to a boarding school with the cute fantasy inducing outfits with the pleated skirts and knee socks. When my dad died and I inherited the family business I decided I wasn’t going to be like the rest of the people in the business. I wasn’t going to sit there and pretend that what I did would be right in the eyes of God and the Virgin Mary and all the saints. I knew what I did was wrong I just didn’t care. So I pretty much gave up religion at 15. There would be no confessionals and acts of contrition in my life. Screw that. I’m Lucy Diamond and I only answer to myself and I’ve always liked it that way.

Meeting Amy didn’t change any of that. Well, being bad stopped feeling good and I gave it up but I didn’t have a sudden recurrence of faith. I haven’t been to confession in over 8 years and I probably never will. I did go to this cathedral here though, mostly because I think my obsession with having the nicest things came from church. The stained glass windows always intrigued me as a child and if I’d had no moral compass what so ever I might have just stolen some from my childhood church just for the memories. Despite my lack of religious outings I do have a little bit of common decency, no matter what my FBI profile might say about me.

Even though I don’t go to church and I find answering so some priest I don’t know to be full of crap I do believe. How can I not believe that there’s something greater out there than myself when I look at Amy and the sunset from our balcony?

I might not be the smartest monkey in the barrel but I know there’s something out there that made everything so beautiful here. I just have to look at Amy to realize that.

Muse: Lucy Diamond
Fandom: D.e.b.s.
Word Count: 332

May 12th, 2006

Topic #19; Habits.

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Crime. Specifically the theft of diamonds. Now a lot of people wouldn’t consider crime a habit, maybe an addiction but not quite a habit but for me it’s definitely one. It’s one I have to break, the hardest to break. I have to keep Amy happy, which honestly is the one responsibility in life that I actually care about. Crime is just one of those things that’s in my blood. For most of my life I’ve drank, ate, slept, fucked – crime. It didn’t matter what I was doing on a specific day one way or another I’d end up stealing something or threatening someone. It’s imbedded deep in me.

I’m walking down the street and I go by a store, particularly diamonds and its inane to not go in and case the place or swipe a ring out from under their snotty little noses. It’s a hard habit to break, I case stores without thinking, it’s an automatic reaction. I figure out how much is worth stealing, make the game plan in my head in under a minute and then I have to stop the follow through.

It’s crazy, taking those moments to stop myself from doing the one thing I’m best at but I do it. The only reason I don’t follow through is lying on the bed behind me right now and let me tell you that is not something I’m going to screw up for a few jewels; even if they are diamonds.

Fandom: D.e.b.s.
Muse: Lucy Diamond
Word Count: 246

April 25th, 2006

I don’t regret anything. I’ve lived my entire life exactly how I’ve wanted to, I’ve taken what I wanted when I wanted it and never looked back. That might sound a little spoiled but honestly I don’t care. It’s who I am. If I see something I want I go for it, there’s not enough time in life to live with regrets. I don’t regret the failed relationships in my past because they made me strong enough to handle the one relationship that matters. I don’t regret not knowing my parents very well because it was out of my control. I don’t regret the life I led up until I moved to Barcelona because that is who I am. You are defined by your actions and what you do and say and I may be perceived one way but that’s not who I am either. I’m Lucy Diamond, no regrets. If I regretted anything up until this point I wouldn’t be who I am.

Fandom: D.e.b.s.
Muse: Lucy Diamond
Word Count: 164

Topic #15; Family

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Family. Right, this is where most people go on about how their family is so important to them and blah blippity blah. My family life wasn’t anything to write home about, I barely remember my father, and he was murdered by a rival family when I was like six. My mother was off jet setting with daddy’s money and I was raised by ‘uncles’ when I make Soprano’s references you know why. By the time I was 14 I was already in the business, stealing, heading up meetings and going head to head with some of the scariest crime bosses in the business. My mom took off not long after that citing the need to be free of the life she’d gotten herself into but her new moral high ground didn’t really exclude getting a fat check every month to keep quiet. So my so called Uncle’s gave me everything I needed or wanted. I was a bit spoiled but in the end I usually worked for what I got. My real family pretty much ended up being Scud, he’s the best friend a master criminal like myself could ever ask for. Plus he didn’t pretend like I was perfect and he wasn’t really afraid of me. That was something new, he also introduced me to my first girlfriend, sure she turned out to be a cunt but that’s not the point. Scud was just always there, he was my family. Now I’ve got him and Amy and they are pretty much all that matter to me.

Fandom: D.e.b.s.
Muse: Lucy Diamond
Word Count: 257

Topic #14; 20 Years

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In twenty years I’ll probably still be on America’s Most wanted top 25 criminals. I’ll still be a sexy badass because it’s kind of who I am no matter what I’m doing. Hell if I really know where I’ll be in twenty years. I do know I’ll be with Amy because otherwise it wouldn’t be worth being anywhere. I went from being afraid of putting myself out there to baring all for someone who didn’t really know who they were at the time. We kind of found that middle ground together. So in twenty years I think Amy and I will still be together and living life experiencing life together. Basically we’ll be making the shit up as we go along. There really is no better way to live.

I’ve kind of been thinking about teaching. I know sounds completely wacked, master criminal total badass Lucy Diamond might want to be a teacher? Who would have thought, but hey the one thing I’ve learned about life is that you’ve got to do what you love and I used to love being bad and now I just love life and I think being a role model and a teacher might be some weird higher calling. I could say I regret my life of crime but that would be utter bullshit, I’m not going back, I’m going foreword but who knows what things will be like next week let alone in twenty years.

Fandom: D.e.b.s.
Muse: Lucy Diamond
Word Count: 241

April 14th, 2006

Topic #10; Introduction

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I haven't done this kind of thing since grade school. I never really have to introduce myself anymore. In the circles I run with people are afraid if they don't know who I am then I'll kill them. I guess it’s safe to ruin my badass image and tell you that I’ve never actually killed anyone in my life. Sure I carry a gun (or have one stashed in our apartment) and pretty much have since I was a teenager but that’s really neither here nor there.

I'm Lucy Diamond; my father was a mob boss type who was killed when I was little. Some (Amy) would say that my lack of a father figure in my life fueled my need to become the biggest, baddest master criminal the world has ever known. Mostly I just have this obsession with diamonds but can you blame me? I've stolen more than I can even count; they are kind of my calling card. It helps to have a dramatic name when you’re a supervillian and believe it or not it’s not an alias, my name from birth is Lucy Diamond. So what’s my story? You going to publish it? Cause I've still got some contacts in the crime world that wouldn’t hesitate to do me a favor.

Alright, I guess I'll just go on a rant like I do with my therapist. I know very Soprano's aren’t I? Tony is really just misunderstood; can you believe he got shot? Oh right, the point. I knew early on that my life was going to be different. I'm not sure I ever really made the conscious decision to be more ruthless than my male counterparts (which is what Amy's thesis says) but I guess I was. I guess I just always liked what I did. Pulling off jobs here and having people afraid of me. Then I fell in love and it was great, I was at the top of my game and the world was at my friggin' feet. Of course she dumped me and I came really close to turning Australia into a pile of ashes. What? I have a super-death-ray thingy I don't know it's not like I built it. Lucky for Australia my best friend Scud talked me out of it and I kind of went into hiding for a while. Alright, I admit it I was wallowing in self pity but come on. I decided to start dating again and that's when I met Amy. She wasn't the blind date, Ninotchka a Russian assassin was, but apparently the meeting didn’t go unnoticed by the D.e.b.s. or the FBI or the NSA and so on. So when the D.e.b.s. crashed in on us there was a shoot out and I ran because hell I might be this so called master criminal but one itty gun against about 4 government agencies teams of agents? How about not getting shot.

So I ran into Amy, guns pointed at each other in this crossroads kind of place in a warehouse. It really was the ultimate crossroad in our lives. To make a long story short I was a goner the second her gun was pointed at me. Amy just had this energy and this something about her that drew me in like a moth to a flame. I kind of kidnapped her, even though she was completely compliant, ok so she was fighting it the whole way but I had to see her. After that I staged a bank heist to lure her to me and convinced her to fake her own kidnapping. We spent a few days just getting to know each other, falling in love and being two women; we weren’t government spy and master criminal we were just Amy and Lucy. Then the other D.e.b.s. showed up and Amy went back.

Somewhere along the line I'd already decided to give up my life of crime for Amy and I did. I gave back money I'd stolen, artwork and such. Let me tell you they were happy to get the real Mona Lisa back, what self respecting museum would admit to having it stolen right under their noses? Eventually I ended up at End Game this completely archaic ritual that the D.e.b.s. have and Amy was being awarded D.e.b. of the year. She was giving this speech about her time with me and how evil I was. By the end of it I was close to walking out and blowing up Australia for real this time but then she stopped and she told the truth. Which is a big deal for Ms. Perfect Score – the ultimate liar.

Now Amy's living out her dream, Art school in Barcelona and I'm living out mine, being with Amy. Sometimes I miss the life of crime and thrills I left behind but all Amy has to do is walk into a room and I remember and then I ask her to dance.

Fandom: D.e.b.s.
Muse: Lucy Diamond
Word Count: 827

February 15th, 2006

Topic #8; Love

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With Valentine's Day around the corner we want you to think about love. Who do you love? What does it do to you? Does it lift you up like a bad cheesy power ballad? Does it destroy you? What does love do to you? What has it done to you in the past?

Amy. I really don’t need to say anymore do I? I mean I’ve explained that I gave up a life of crime for her right? I’m pretty sure that says most of it right there. I love the girl, she’s amazing and beautiful and she gets me. Hell she wrote her thesis on me, not that I ever read it even though she offered. That whole thesis thing got me the in with her you’d think I’d take the time to see more about her theories of my daddy issues. They’re probably right, I do have daddy issues.

I love Amy. If I were better with words I probably wouldn’t have turned to diamond heists at the age of 13.

Muse: Lucy Diamond
Fandom: D.E.B.S.
Word Count: 120

January 25th, 2006

There is nothing like Barcelona sunrises, Amy and I like to get up just before dawn and sit out on the balcony holding each other as the sun peeks her way over the horizon. This place has the kind of beauty that Australia would kill for. I'm not bored here, I don't mind doing household things during the day when Amy's in class and posing for her at night isn't too shabby either but I don't do anything. It's not her fault, I just don't have any marketable skills, do I put 'International Diamond Theif' on a resume'? If I'm not mistaken I actually lifted a few million from the closest warehouse so it's not likely I'd get hired as a diamond inspector, which is honestly probably the only thing I'm good at.

So I spend my days shopping, cooking and doing all the things I used to pay people to do. I don't mind doing them either, it's not like I'm that rich girl who turns into a pauper and complains because she can't do her own laundry. I've always been able to do my own laundry I just never really wanted to.

You could say I was lacking some direction when direction decided to smack me across the face. It happened about two weeks ago, Scud was up visiting us and I took him out to the shopping district where he went completely spazed out on me the second he saw this leather hat that he just had to buy. He's such a girl sometimes.

The point is, after about an hour we headed to the street market so I could get some of this amazing sandalwood incense that Amy loves when none other than Rex Marciano steps out of the shadows and gives me one of those 'You're going to want to murder me in two seconds' kind of looks.

I'm still going over that conversation in my head. He wanted me back in the fold, seems like business is dying out very quickly now that Lucy Diamond has gone the straight and narrow path. I shoved him off at first, you know because Amy trusts me and there's nothing I ever want to do than make her question that. Still, his offer was mighty tempting. There's a diamond exchange exhibition coming to town a week (it was three weeks at the time of the conversation) and no one he knew could pull it off. The largest diamond heist in history, history. I told him to screw off and left with Scud rattling in my ear about what that could mean for us, the things I could give Amy.

A week later he cornered me again, this time he had more friends, old friends of mine all telling me I was the best, giving me an ego trip like you'd never believe. Somehow they convinced me, the only thing is, Amy's my cover and there's no way in hell she'd forgive me for using her as one. No way she'd forgive me for any of it. This is the direction I was missing and now if I take it, I'll loose the only thing in my life I've ever really loved. It's hollow without Amy, it's torture and pain and the assured distruction of Australia.

I was thinking all this as we sat cuddled together watching the sunrise, I'd agreed to do it but she was the reason I couldn't and I couldn't deny that a huge part of me wanted to. The rush I get when pulling off a job isn't like anything really, it's almost better than sex. Almost.

I was suppose to meet with Rex, Simon, Gunther and Jimmy for lunch, when all I really wanted was to escape what I was getting myself into and wash it all away with Amy's kisses.

"I love you," I said suddenly just as the sun peeked over the horizon, "so much."

January 17th, 2006

Topic 4; Passion

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Passion is watching Amy paint; that girl can do things with a brush that I just can’t believe. No, I didn’t intend that to take a sexual tone but if you want me to be honest it applies either way. We’re getting some use out of edible body paint that’s for sure. Still just seeing her so into something she loves like that just stirs something deep inside. I used to think my passion was diamonds, acquiring them by any means necessary. My obsession was fueled by the name, who said master criminals had to have a good reason for the things they do?

I didn’t know what passion was until I met Amy. Wanting someone so badly that you’ll do anything, and I do mean anything, to get them – that’s passion. Risking life, limb, Australia’s welfare – you’d do any of those things for just one more minute with them.

It’s singing into a mop because you’re so damn full all the time. Passion is giving up a life of crime, a good one too, for the love of a good woman. Let’s not forget to mention feeling the heat of skin across your finger tips or lips –so soft- across a taut stomach inching lower for a taste of hidden secrets. Passion is all that.

And hey, if you’d seen those d.e.b.s. uniforms and the way Amy’s legs look in those short school-girl-ish skirts you’d understand just one of the reasons why Amy Bradshaw is the epitome of Passion to me. It doesn’t hurt that I have a tiny bit of a gun fetish and the first time I saw her was at a shoot out; go figure.

Muse: Lucy Diamond
Fandom: D.e.b.s.
Word Count: 279

January 13th, 2006

Cast the Lifetime movie based on your life and tell us about it. You can give us a brief synopsis of the major plot points, tell us about the dramatic climax, or even write a scene from it. Remember this is only based loosely on the real events of your life so take as many liberties as you want with it.

Liftime Isn’t likely to make my TV Movie, in fact my movie would probably go on Court TV or something of the like. The tag line: “Master Criminal falls in love with the spy sent to take her down,” or something just a cheesy. Not that I could even begin to say that isn’t true. You know now that I think about it I think the movie should start off in Barcelona with Amy in school, for once doing what she loves. We’ll skip over the how’s and the why’s because as interesting as our headlong into romance is the more important parts happen after the dangers over.

Scud’s probably laughing his ass off at me waxing poetic but he’d been doing that since I met Amy. Besides he’s tagging around like a puppy on Janet’s heals and hell if I don’t tease the hell out of him. The plot would obviously be two hot young women in love in Barcelona, both with pasts that haunt them on occasion. I’m sure there would be a sex art scene somewhere along the lines of Ghost, without the ghost and the penis. Sure Amy’s not so much into clay as paint, but we could have some fun with paint too.

The climax, no pun intended of course, would be when the former criminal is offered a large opportunity to bring herself back into he fold. This time, she has to promise not to target Australia as a means of getting over her issues and of course she’d agree to that. When it gets too far out of hand, Amy would find out and there would be a large fight, words cutting against skin. Australia would be in danger because who even cares about that little island anyway when the woman you love more than life won’t even look at you.

Lucy (as in my character) would realize what she realized when all this started. Being bad just isn’t fun, nothing is fun without Amy. So in a dramatic moment Lucy would turn in all her bad-guy cohorts, except Scud if he’s out from under Janet’s skirt long enough to be around, to the D.e.b.s. and beg for Amy’s forgiveness. There could be singing into a mop, returning of stolen goods just like last time. Or maybe she’d find something entirely new to win back the love of her life, but she’d do it. Eventually after much groveling and perhaps paint scenes Amy would forgive Lucy and once again they’d live happily ever after.

As far as casting goes, Demi Moore is the only woman I’d not kill for trying to play me and no one could ever quite pull off Amy but Cameron Diaz would do. Scud would probably be the kid who played Finch in American Pie.

Muse: Lucy Diamond
Fandom: D.e.b.s.
Word Count: 466
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